"Love Penelope: NOT!

Scene 1- Hangout

(Mack, Portland and Trevor were eating lunch when Penelope rushes over with a bag.)

Penelope Ann Huff- Guys, guys, guys.

Mack Dylan Cooper- Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down.

Penelope Ann Huff- I can't. My mom's new husband, or as I call him, daddy number #19 is a scientist and he created a cosmetics line for me. It has lipstick, makeup, ear cream, foot cream and rat poison.

Portland Madison- Do I wanna know about the rat poison?

Penelope Ann Huff- Probably not. Anyways daddy number #19 will be selling them this December, but I thought I'd give you guys each the full pack.

Trevor Mitchel- Um, I'll pass.

Penelope Ann Huff- There not for you dimwit. It's for Portland, Stephanie, and when Chloe gets back from Antarctica her.

Portland Madison- Wait I thought you didn't like her.

Penelope Ann Huff- I don't, but who can stand looking at that awful face of hers. You can thank me later Portland.

Portland Madison- If this stuff works then maybe.

Penelope Ann Huff- Good.

(Penelope walks off.)

Scene 2- Girls Mansion

(Devon and Stephanie were on the couch watching a movie when Devon puts his arm around Stephanie.)

Stephanie Williams- Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?

Devon Jonson- I'm putting my arm around you.

Stephanie Williams- Ha, Devon, Derek tried that move on me a hundred and forty two times counting. I don't put up with those moves.

Devon Jonson- Well, I'm just gonna say it. That exact same move worked on Lilly and I thought it would work on you.

Stephanie Williams- Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold the phone here. You used this exact same move on Lilly.

Devon Jonson- Yeah so.

Stephanie Williams- Well, I don't like the fact that you're just taking moves you used on your ex-girlfriend.

Devon Jonson- Fine, if you want me to stop then I'll stop. Are you happy now?

Stephanie Williams- Yes now-

(Penelope rushes in with her bag of cosmetics.)

Stephanie Williams- Uh, what are you doing here?

Penelope Ann Huff- Oh I don't know, um let me think, I LIVE HERE! The question is what is he doing here?

Devon Jonson- Um.

Stephanie Williams- We're doing a science project.

Penelope Ann Huff- Whatever. Anyways, Stephanie, check out my new line of cosmetics.

Stephanie Williams- Well, before I do. What explosives or poisons did you inject in there?

Penelope Ann Huff- Nothing, now try some out.

(Stephanie sprays some of the perfume in the air.)

Stephanie Williams- Whoa, this stuff smells good.

(Devon leans into smell.)

Devon Jonson- Wow, you're not kidding this is good... GOOD ENOUGH TO MARRY. PENELOPE I DEEPLY LOVE YOU. MORE, MORE!!!

Stephanie Williams- Uh, what's going on?

Penelope Ann Huff- I don't know. But I love it.

(Penelope gives an evil grin and leaves with Devon following her.)

Stephanie Williams- What just happened?

Scene 3- The Pier

(Mack, Portland and Trevor were at a table when Penelope walks over with Devon still behind her drooling.)

Mack Dylan Cooper- Uh, whats wrong with Devon?

Penelope Ann Huff- What do you mean?

Portland Madison- He's like a zombie.

Trevor Mitchel- Totally.

Penelope Ann Huff- Well, it's not my fault. He smelled my perfume and he suddenly became like a zombie to me.

(She takes the perfume from her pocket and squirts some in front of Trevor.)

Trevor Mitchel- Penelope, I LOVE YOU!!!

Portland Madison- WHAT!!!

Penelope Ann Huff- Excuse me.

Mack Dylan Cooper- Penelope, your dad must have put something in the perfume to make guys attracted to you. It must have been for weak guys because I smelled it twice and nothing has happened to me.

Penelope Ann Huff- Well let's try this one last time.

Mack Dylan Cooper/Portland Madison- No, no, Penelope no.

(Penelope squirts some in front of Mack and Penelope and Portland stand there frozen for a minute.)

Mack Dylan Cooper- Nothing happened.

Portland Madison- Great.

Penelope Ann Huff- No.

(Mack and Portland look at Penelope.)

Penelope Ann Huff- I mean... Oh who I'm I kidding.

(Penelope walks away with Devon and Trevor following her.)

Mack Dylan Cooper- You have got to be kidding me.

Scene 4- Boy's Mansion

(Mack walks in to find Stephanie snooping around.)

Mack Dylan Cooper- Uh, Stephanie, what are you doing here?

Stephanie Williams- Um, I'm, uh, looking for my sunglasses.

Mack Dylan Cooper- Then why are you digging through Devon's personal files?

Stephanie Williams- Um, because now that Devon is in love with Penelope we can't work on our science project.

Mack Dylan Cooper- He can't control it. Penelope's cosmetics have some kind of like scent that is irresistible.

Stephanie Williams- Well, I never wanted to say this but maybe if we can find Penelope's father then maybe he can stop this madness.

Mack Dylan Cooper- Fine, but this isn't for you, it's for Devon and Trevor.

Stephanie Williams- Fine.

(Mack and Stephanie leave the mansion.)

Scene 5- Penelope's Dad's Mansion (Dominican Republic)

(Mack and Stephanie walk up the steep steps and knock on the door using the old door knocker. Then a tall man opens the door.)

Roger Malone- Hello, I'm Roger Malone what do you want?

Mack Dylan Cooper- Hi I'm Mack and this is Stephanie we go to school with your daughter Penelope.

Roger Malone- Oh, yes, Penelope. I made the cosmetic line for her.

Stephanie Williams- Yeah, we know. And by the way I love it.

Mack Dylan Cooper- The problem is whenever a guy smells it he suddenly falls deeply in love with Penelope. But another thing is I've smelled it several times but it hasn't worked on me.

Roger Malone- Look, I may have put a little something that might have triggered their brain.

Stephanie Williams- Well, do you have a cure?

Mack Dylan Cooper- My brother and my best friend have both been triggered by that stuff.

Roger Malone- Well, you see. This perfume has a natural scent of New York City.

Mack Dylan Cooper- That must be why it hasn't effected me. I'm from New York City and I was there this summer.

Stephanie Williams- But isn't Devon also from New York?

Mack Dylan Cooper- Yeah but he hasn't been back since freshman year. Then Trevor never went to New York so he's an easy target.

(Roger takes out another bottle of perfume.)

Roger Malone- Here. This is the cure. When your friends smell this they will be fine. It's the natural scent of New Jersey.

Stephanie Williams- That's a little odd but okay.

(Mack and Stephanie leave.)

Scene 6- Hangout

(Portland was at a table when Lilly and Bertha walk over.)

Portland Madison- Oh, hi guys.

Lilly- You need to get control of Penelope.

Bertha Scar- That perfume it getting every guy to like her.

Lilly- Derek left me for her.

Bertha Scar- Drake did the same to me.

Portland Madison- Well, I'm tired of it to. She got Trevor into leaving me.

(Penelope walks up behind them with Devon, Trevor, Larry, Drake and Derek following.)

Penelope Ann Huff- So. Are you guys complaining?

(They walk closer.)

Devon Jonson- You losers better keep Penelope happy.

Trevor Mitchel- That's right.

Larry Martinez- Cause if Penelope isn't happy.

Drake/Derek- Then we're not happy.

Penelope Ann Huff- Get them.

(Penelope, Devon, Trevor, Larry, Drake and Derek start chasing Portland, Lilly and Bertha.)

Scene 7- The Springs Entrance

(Mack and Stephanie quickly get out of the plane and head in.)

Mack Dylan Cooper- Where is everyone?

Stephanie Williams- Oh, this is not good.

Scene 8- Girls Mansion

(Penelope was watching the boys tie Portland, Bertha and Lilly to a pole that holds up the mansion.)

Portland Madison- Wow, this is just great. I'm being tied up by my boyfriend.

Lilly- Well, I'm being tied up by my current boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend.

Penelope Ann Huff- Quiet you two.

Bertha Scar- What exactly are you going to do to us?

Penelope Ann Huff- Nothing. I'm just going to have you locked up and watch you guys in pain.

Lilly- You're a sick, sick person.

(Mack and Stephanie rush in.)

Mack Dylan Cooper- Stop, stop.

Stephanie Williams- Penelope no.

(Mack takes out the bottle of New Jersey scent perfume and squirts it at Devon, Trevor, Larry, Drake and Derek.)

Devon Jonson- Whoa.

Trevor Mitchel- What happened?

Stephanie Williams- Penelope's perfume made all of you fall in love with her.

(Devon looks at Stephanie and Trevor looks at Portland. Drake looks at Bertha and Derek looks at Lilly.)

Penelope Ann Huff- Uh, guys. Do you still love me?

(Mack, Devon, Stephanie, Portland, Trevor, Larry, Lilly, Bertha, Drake and Derek all look at each other.)

Mack Dylan Cooper- Get her.

(They all chase after Penelope.)

Guest Starring-

Bertha Scar

Derek Wang

Drake Parker

Larry Martinez

Lilly

Roger Malone

Absent-

Chloe Jones

"Love Problems"

Scene 1- Hangout

(Penelope had a laptop while she, Devon, Stephanie, Portland, Trevor and Lucas were reading an email from Chloe when Mack walks up.)

Mack Dylan Cooper- Hey, guys, what's up?

Portland Madison- Chloe is spending a semester in Antarctica with her Aunt Vidia.

Mack Dylan Cooper- And I'm suppose to care why?

Stephanie Williams- Well, your ex-girlfriend is leaving you.

Penelope Ann Huff- Doesn't that bother you a little?

Mack Dylan Cooper- No, why you might ask, because I broke up with her not the other way around.

Lucas- Yeah, well I actually care that Chloe is gone.

Devon Jonson- Well, you're her boyfriend.

Trevor Mitchel- You're pretty much required to say that.

(Clair Higginbottom walks up.)

Clair Higginbottom- Hello, guys, as you all know, our Homecoming dance is almost here. And now that you guys are sophomore and FINALLY junior.

(Everyone looks at Stephanie.)

Clair Higginbottom- You guys should be use to this. Oh and, Devon do not beat up the freshman or humiliate them in any way.

Devon Jonson- No promises.

Clair Higginbottom- I will see you guys at the dance.

(Mr. Bullet walks over and he and Principal Higginbottom start doing the tango as they walk away.)

Stephanie Williams- That was odd.

Trevor Mitchel- Well, I have something to say to Portland.

Portland Madison- Ah man, here comes the break up speech. We had one stinkin' date Trevor, one stinkin' date and you're dumping me already.

Trevor Mitchel- Uh, no. I'm asking you to the homecoming dance.

Portland Madison- Oh, that's what all the fuss was about. Sure I wouldn't mind.

Mack Dylan Cooper- Hopefully you don't end up like Trevor's last homecoming date.

Portland Madison- And who was that?

(She glares at Trevor.)

Devon Jonson- That was Natalia Trunzo.

Stephanie Williams- She got expelled several months ago.

Mack Dylan Cooper- She was a piece of work.

Trevor Mitchel- Look, Portland, she was my girlfriend for one night and that was it.

Portland Madison- OK, look, since I don't wanna fight. We'll pick this up AFTER homecoming.

Trevor Mitchel- Alright.

Portland Madison- Good, now let's go.

(Portland, Trevor, Mack, Penelope and Lucas walk away.)

Stephanie Williams- Soooo.

Devon Jonson- Soooo.

Stephanie Williams- Since you're my, you know, boyfriend. Maybe we could go to homecoming.

Devon Jonson- I thought we were keeping us a secret.

Stephanie Williams- Well, maybe it wouldn't hurt to tell everyone. I mean we've been going out for-

Devon Jonson- A day. We've dated for a day.

Stephanie Williams- Please. Plus I heard Lilly would be there. You could make her jealous.

Devon Jonson- Fine, but don't tell anyone about us until I get there.

Stephanie Williams- Deal.

(Stephanie kisses Devon and walks away.)

Scene 2- Girls Mansion

(Penelope was on the couch when Mack walks in.)

Mack Dylan Cooper- Hey Penelope, since me and Chloe broke up and then me and Portland broke up do you think you might wanna go to the homecoming dance with me?

Penelope Ann Huff- Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.

Mack Dylan Cooper- OK, OK, calm down. Now remember I'm giving you a chance so don't blow it.

Penelope Ann Huff- First, can you make out with me?

Mack Dylan Cooper- Uhh... Oh what the heck.

(Mack and Penelope start making out when Portland walks in.)

Portland Madison- Hey Penelope can you OH MY GOD!!! I see you're busy so I'll just come back later.

(Portland leaves the room while Mack and Penelope continue smooching.)

Scene 3- The Pier

(Devon was walking when he bumped into Lilly.)

Lilly- Watch where you're going- Devon. Oh, h-hi.

Devon Jonson- H-hey Lilly, my ex.

Lilly- So, what's up? I haven't seen you since summer.

Devon Jonson- Well, you know, I was here, there, everywhere.

Lilly- Sure.

Devon Jonson- Well.

Lilly- See you around.

Devon Jonson- Yeah.

Lilly- Bye.

Devon Jonson- Bye.

(Lilly and Devon both quickly rush away avoiding the awkward moment. Then they walk back.)

Lilly- Wait, are you going to homecoming with anyone?

Devon Jonson- Yeah, are you?

Lilly- NO!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE AFTER A MONTH YOU ALREADY HAVE A NEW GIRLFRIEND.

Devon Jonson- Well, you dumped me, what was I suppose to do, come begging for forgiveness. I'm not your little boy toy.

Lilly- I NEVER SAID YOU WHERE!!!

Devon Jonson- LILLY, I MOVED ON AND SO SHOULD YOU!!!

Lilly- Fine, but one question. Who is this girl?

Devon Jonson- You don't need to know so why don't you just leave.

Lilly- FINE, I WILL!!!

(Lilly storms off.)

Devon Jonson- WHO NEEDS YOU!!!

Scene 4- The Mall

(Penelope is walking through a mall with Portland behind her caring about twenty bags.)

Portland Madison- OK, tell me again why you needed me to carry all your bags.

Penelope Ann Huff- Because I just got a manicure and I am not about to ruin it.

Portland Madison- Why, what's so special?

Penelope Ann Huff- Mack asked me to the homecoming dance. I've been waiting a year to be asked out by him. I must look gorgeous.

Portland Madison- Honey, you didn't look good as a red head, you don't look good with black hair and blue highlights you just don't look good at all.

Penelope Ann Huff- Shut up.

Portland Madison- Make me.

Scene 5- Boys Mansion: Coat Closet

(Devon and Stephanie were making out when Stephanie stopped.)

Stephanie Williams- Devon, something is bothering me.

Devon Jonson- What?

Stephanie Williams- Well, why do you wanna keep us a secret?

Devon Jonson- Because, it's weird. Me and you are known to wanna kill each other. People might think we're crazy.

Stephanie Williams- So, is that your opinion?

Devon Jonson- No, but-

Stephanie Williams- Then who cares.

Devon Jonson- Look, Stephanie, this will all be over tonight when we reveal. But promise me you won't do it without me.

Stephanie Williams- OK, OK.

(Mack opens the door.)

Mack Dylan Cooper- Uh, Devon, what are you doing with Stephanie?

Devon Jonson- Just a.

Stephanie Williams- Science project.

Mack Dylan Cooper- You two are weird.

(Stephanie and Devon leave the closet and walk upstairs.)

Scene 6- Homecoming Dance

(Stephanie walks in to be greeted by Portland and Trevor.)

Stephanie Williams- Hey guys.

Trevor Mitchel- What's up?

Portland Madison- Where's your date?

Stephanie Williams- Oh he'll be here... Soon... I hope.

Trevor Mitchel- OOOOKKK.

Portland Madison- Yeah, we'll be over there if you need us.

(Portland and Trevor walk away when Tim Bullet comes over.)

Tim Bullet- How are you enjoying yourself Ms. Williams?

Stephanie Williams- It's OK, I guess.

Tim Bullet- Good, good.

(Tim Bullet walks away when Lilly walks up.)

Lilly- Hey, Stephanie.

Stephanie Williams- Hi.

Lilly- Have you seen Devon, I wanna see what run down hairless wart picking girlfriend he chose over me.

Stephanie Williams- WHY DON'T YOU KEEP YOUR OPINIONS TO YOURSELF!!!

Lilly- Excuse me, what did you just say?

Stephanie Williams- I mean, GET OUT OF MY WAY!!!

(Stephanie pushes Lilly out of her way and walks to the punch bowl. Over at the punch bowl Mack and Penelope walk over.)

Mack Dylan Cooper- What was going on between you and Lilly?

Penelope Ann Huff- Yeah, you too use to be best friends.

Stephanie Williams- Yeah well now I hate her. Is there anymore questions?

Penelope Ann Huff- No.

Mack Dylan Cooper- Not really.

(Mack and Penelope walk away and Stephanie looks at her watch.)

Stephanie Williams- When will he be here?

(Portland and Trevor walk over.)

Portland Madison- Look, we've been thinking.

Trevor Mitchel- And we're gonna cheer you up since your date ditched you.

Stephanie Williams- Oh, please. Even my grandfather is more interesting than you. And he polishes his shoes for fun.

Portland Madison- Fine.

Trevor Mitchel- We won't try cheering you up.

Portland Madison- Let's go.

Trevor Mitchel- I'm right behind you.

(Portland and Trevor walk off. Over by Mack and Penelope.)

Mack Dylan Cooper- Look, Penelope, I'm sorry but I don't feel anything between us other than awkwardness.

Penelope Ann Huff- What are you trying to say?

Mack Dylan Cooper- Well, I think we're better friends then boyfriend and girlfriend.

Penelope Ann Huff- But, but.

Mack Dylan Cooper- I'm sorry.

(Mack walks away with Penelope is a frozen position. Rest of the dance goes by until the end when everyone leaves but Stephanie is still there.)

Stephanie Williams- I can't believe it. Devon never showed up.

(Devon walks up behind her.)

Devon Jonson- Or did he?

(Stephanie turns around.)

Stephanie Williams- Devon. You finally came.

Devon Jonson- Look Stephanie-

Stephanie William- We're through Devon.

Devon Jonson- Wait Stephanie. I didn't show up because I was worried.

Stephanie Williams- I don't want us to be hidden.

Devon Jonson- It's not permanent. I promise that eventually before school ends we will tell everyone about us. Just not yet.

Stephanie Williams- Fine, you get till the end of May 2012.

Devon Jonson- Deal.

(Slow dance music turns on and Devon and Stephanie begin dancing.)

Guest Starring-

Clair Higginbottom

Lilly

Lucas

Tim Bullet

Absent-

Chloe Jones